Be Grateful For Whatever Comes

THE GUEST HOUSE

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
--Rumi

Excerpted from, THE ESSENTIAL RUMI, translated by Coleman Barks

How succinctly this poem sums up the spring we have experienced here at Ravenseyrie! "Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness...", yes, this has been the flow of our days ever since the stillbirth of Espírito. It has felt as if our usual charmed and poetic existence with the horses has become a crucible of trials and tribulations. No doubt such tempering by chaotic elements is as essential to personal growth as it is to the all of poetry.

An evening view from the "Top of the World" at Ravenseyrie

In my former life, I produced greeting cards and gift books under a free lance contract for the C.R. Gibson Company. While most of the time I was able to create art and verse with minimal manipulation by the company's art director and text editor, we would at times disagree about the content of something I had submitted. Typically, the dissension revolved around an element in the art or text that referenced darkness, difficulties, etc.--the potential negative aspects of life. My aim was not to bring one down by including something perceived as unpleasant, rather my work was always tailored to facilitate a positive transformation--to provide hope and inspiration. Nevertheless, marketing consultants had convinced the staff that only bright colours and cheery words would provide optimum sales of their products. Sometimes I would alter my work to appease them and other times I would manage to convince them to accept my work as it was--I felt strongly the message was much more powerful and useful to people because it did not hide the fact that the world is not always "butterflies and roses".

Two such verses come to mind that I refused to alter, and I include them here to help us all understand that part of the poetry of the life we humans create is to experience and transcend difficulties and sorrow.

"We cannot escape the blowing of life's wind, but we can make sure the seeds we leave behind are seeds of love and understanding."

"Life is not always bright, but if the sun can shine after the darkest storm, so can we."

-Lynne Gerard

This is not to say, however that I have been an adept at being "grateful for whatever comes". Initially, I tend to resist, stomp my foot in frustration, rail with fear, worry, anger, helplessness, etc., but I no longer dwell long in these passing emotions and I am even more frequently able to make a pause, stand apart from the drama as a dispassionate witness and see much more clearly what is required of me in the situation that is most helpful and edifying and the product of love, rather than carrying out an action arising from fear or desire.

Iron bondage artifacts which we found on the Ravenseyrie beach

Each difficulty, or rather "unexpected visitor" we have received in our "guest house" could have its own detailed entry in the Journal of Ravenseyrie, but I confess, I am not up to the task. Perhaps a little later, certain elaborations will be forthcoming, but for now, I will simply list them as they occurred.

--Belina delivered a still born colt.

--Enhanced attacks by Altamiro and now also the younger stallions on Mistral (our 30 year old domestic Arabian gelding) prompted breeches of the fence boundary as Mistral, Zeus and Silvestre (who were also being targeted for lesser attacks) sought refuge on the cattle range to the east. Fortunately, the land owners of that range agreed to a lease so the horses could stay there for awhile.

--The arrival of a foal out of Fada stimulated further social upheaval among Altamiro, Animado and Interessado, i.e. intense aggression among the three stallions, throwing all the typical herd dynamics into a state of agitation and conflict.

Three year old Animado and his surging hormones are on the charge after his herd mates

--Pinoteia (our yearling filly out of Bella) was expelled from the family band by brutal hazing and attacks from her sire, Altamiro. Wounded in body and mind, she went into deep hiding.

--The cattle rancher who also leases the neighbor's range (where Mistral, et al were taking refuge) requested we remove the horses before he released cows and calves there for summer pasturage, so we had to bring Mistral, Zeus and Silvestre home and put them into the holding pasture by our house. This meant we could not yet bring those youngsters who are due to be exported to the states in from the range, since that holding pasture was erected for them and we had no other place available.

--With the deadline looming ever nearer for when the Olson's can come to pick up Encantara, Animado and Segura, Kevin worked on erecting a dual electric fence with a buffer zone to create a separate +/- 10 acres of pasture and woodland on the southwest of our yard, bordering Scotland Road for Mistral, Zeus and Silvestre.

The new fence follows the line of power poles all the way to the west boundary

--We turned Mistral, Zeus and Silvestre out in their new, much larger area, where they are separated from the aggressive antics of the others, but Mistral was completely distraught and took to pacing near the gate well into the night.

--Next morning, Mistral charged the fence and got tangled in first the electric wire on his side and then pushed through only to get entangled by the outer wire on the buffer side. I could only stand paralyzed in horror as he went on running with the wire around him, pulling up fence posts as he went until finally the wire tripped him and he flip over, landing on his back with his legs completely bound by the wire and more wire tight around his neck. While on the ground he continued to thrash in an attempt to free himself and somehow, miraculously he does! In the next moment he was up and running free of the wire and headed for the northeast. Zeus and Silvestre, who had been as thunderstruck and paralyzed by the event as I, came now unglued themselves and stepped over the downed fence and ran to catch up with their friend.

--With Kevin gone that day, I did my best to repair the fence, only to discover when I got to where the energizer was up by the gate, the force of Mistral's breaking through the wire had pulled the fence charger unit completely off its mooring and it lay smashed to pieces on the ground.


--Zeus, Mistral and Silvestre had disappeared and instead of going on a search for them (they could be anywhere!), I made the decision to carry on with my house chores and wait for them to come back into view, which they did in about an hour. I could see them running up and down the east fence line, so I began to hike out that way to see just how much damage Mistral had caused himself. I saw that Silvestre was on the opposite side of that east fence (now in with the cattle) so I went back and get a halter and lead rope, hoping I could convince him to come back with me.

--As I neared the east fence line, out from the woods came Animado and Interessado running to attack Mistral and Zeus. Soon Mistral and Zeus came galloping my way, and as they flew by I could at least see that Mistral didn't have any signs of blood or torn flesh (amazing!). They ran like the wind to the west and I continued to the east to fetch Silvestre.

--I heard thundering hooves again and saw Mistral and Zeus now coming back to the east while under attack from Altamiro! After sending them back to the east sector, Altamiro thankfully returned to his family band in the west. But as soon as Animado saw Mistral and Zeus, he came after them to attack again and this time they tried to break through the southern fence along Scotland Road. Meanwhile, Silvestre was frantically running the southeast fence from the opposite side until he found a low section and jumped it. Another miracle, and another problem solves itself since he is once again on the proper side of the fence...only now he is being chased and attacked by Interessado.

--Not finding a fitting place to break through the south fence line, Mistral and Zeus started running again back to the west and Silvestre managed to rejoin them as Animado and Interessado had turned away from the chase and headed back to the northeast.

--Mistral, et al stopped by the holding pasture where we first had separated them and just ran up and down the line of that fence. Another miracle, they kept this up until I got back there and I simply opened the gate and let them inside. They soon settled down and incredibly there wasn't a visible wound on any of them!


--Several more days tick by while Kevin reinforced the ten acre fence that Mistral had ruined.

--Once again, we turned Mistral, Zeus and Silvestre out into their larger separate pasture. Once again Mistral paced virtually night and day, but no longer tried to break out. He paced for three straight days before settling down.

Mistral paces the section of snake fence bordering our yard, churning the rain-soaked ground into a path of mud.

--During all this time, we were hiking the property looking for Pinoteia, somedays finding her and somedays not. But she was healing and doing remarkably well. We told people she was on "walkabout" in search of her "inner filly".

--Soon Pinoteia joined in, finally, with Interessado, Animado, Fada and Fada's colt, Destemido. This was short-lived as by the next day, she was no longer with them.

--Our neighbor, Bill, stopped by to let us know that Pinoteia was on his property. She managed to get into the sector of his land that is separate from the cattle and Bill generously agreed to let her hang out there until we could get her to come back with us. (She is not halter trained yet.)

--Kevin and I worked on strengthening the section of the east fence that weaves down the bluff to discourage any more escapes by others to Bill's property.

--We were smoothly able to bring Encantara, Segura and Animado into the holding pasture, although the mules came in as well. They had such a calming influence on the youngers that we decided to let them stay in with them.

--I began halter training Encantara, Segura and Animado with no troubles.

The youngers like to help Kevin out when he is working in their corral

--Altamiro expelled Levada from the family band, but without brutality and she immediately joined up with Interessado, Fada and Destemido.

--The veterinarian came to perform the health inspection on Encantara, Segura and Animado, but Segura refused to participate. Encantara and Animado did great and we made an appointment to try Segura again a week later.

--We managed to get Pinoteia home by dismantling a section of the snake fence and creating an opening for her to follow me through, then putting the section back together after. Worked great. She did not join Interessado and the others however, but stayed out of their view just inside the northeast woods.

--Tocara was expelled from the family band, without brutality and joins Interessado's group.

--Pinoteia joined Interessado's group and they all settled in well together.

--But there was no relief from troubles for next up Ciente became ill, much like Bella did last September.

--The health inspection for Segura was successful on the second try.

--Ciente's immune system wasn't strong enough and this beautiful, favourite mare crossed the "Rainbow Bridge". (When I have my grief in a better equilibrium, I will write about this properly, for now, this is all I can say on the matter...)


Between the wise, rather playful writings of Rumi and the earnest effort I have been making to comprehend life as elucidated in the words of Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj, I have found the strength to "be grateful for whatever comes". And, as you have read, amidst the trials and tribulations we've been experiencing there were many small miracles as well--things could have been much worse if not for these "lucky breaks".

If you seek reality you must set yourself free of all backgrounds, of all cultures, of all patterns of thinking and feeling. Even the idea of being man or woman, or even human, should be discarded. The ocean of life contains all, not only humans. So, first of all abandon all self-identification, stop thinking of yourself as such-and-such, so-and-so, this or that. Abandon all self-concern, worry not about your welfare, material or spiritual, abandon every desire, gross or subtle, stop thinking of achievement of any kind. You are complete here and now, you need absolutely nothing.

It does not mean that you must be brainless and foolhardy, improvident or indifferent; only the basic anxiety for oneself must go. You need some food, clothing, and shelter for you and yours, but this will not create problems as long as greed is not taken for a need. Live in tune with things as they are and not as they are imagined.

--Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
(Excerpted from the book I AM THAT)

To provide some perspective on the way Ravenseyrie is situated on the landscape, I have put together these aerial photos. Click on each of them to see the larger version and read their captions.

Esperanda

A Ravenseyrie sunrise on March 11, 2011 after another dynamic winter snowstorm

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished. --Lao Tzu

I found I was rushing--in my mind--and it made my body tense, my movements unsure and clumsy and I began to question that everything would, indeed, be accomplished as it should. This foal should have been up and nursing by now, and yet, there it lay in the icy snow, exhausted and getting colder by the minute. Here in this beautiful moment, my sense of how much time things were taking made me worry that we might have our first tragedy unfolding here at the Sorraia Mustang Preserve...


Waiting with great anticipation for a third foal from Ciente and Altamiro began last May when Ciente did not come into heat. This stunning Kiger Mustang mare accepted the overtures of her handsome Sorraia stallion for a string of nine days beginning the end of March and ending in the second day of April. She was settled, and stayed in good form during the long gestation period and Kevin and I watched Ciente, along with the other horses inhabiting Ravenseyrie, with calm admiration for their naturally born adaptation to wilderness living.

But it wasn't until the month of February that my expectation of the upcoming foaling began to be tinged with worry for what kind of weather we might have on the island. February can be a decidedly harsh month on Manitoulin Island and many a March day is fueled with winter's wrath as well. Would the elements prove too daunting for the survival of a foal born on the range in Northern Ontario in late winter?

Should the conditions be brutal, we would plan to bring Ciente into the tractor shed where we could better monitor her. Knowing that to extract Ciente from the family band would anger Altamiro and cause great anxiety for Ciente and the others, we would only do so if we felt the situation absolutely required that type of intervention.

Throughout the month of February our weather was like a roller coaster, nice days with almost all our snow melting, followed by a deep chill with the thermometer dropping to -26°C over night. If it got warmer it snowed. When it stopped snowing, it got bitterly cold. And each new day, Ciente looked closer to foaling than the day before. She moved a little slower and became rather meditative beginning in early February, and she began cleverly coming up to the shed on her own for "specials" while the others were busy at their piles of hay.



I will share with you the notes from my calendar and some photos taken during that time.

February 14 / Ciente's udder barely visible but showing wax on teats.

February 24 / Ciente's foal shifted in the abdomen, is now carried lower and further back. Mentally, Ciente seems a little "spacey" today.



February 27 / Ciente's udder beginning to distend slightly, and showing wax dots


March 6th / Ciente definitely bagged up, the largest I've ever seen her udder, not unlike a suitcase hanging between her legs, especially noticeable from behind.


During this time, we watched Ciente obsessively, and one evening I for sure felt the foal would be born for Ciente's vulva was so warm and slack. But by morning with the temperature once again bitterly cold, that vulva was zippered tightly shut against the frigid air. Some days I was glad Ciente was holding that baby in and other days, when maybe we had three rather mellow days in a row, I was frustrated that she kept us all still waiting.

And we waited and waited, imagining that every slow step and lift of tail was a prelude to Ciente beginning her labour. All throughout the day, with binoculars ever present, Kevin and I gave each other reports on where "Fat Horse" was and what "Fat Horse" was doing. With all the usual signals seeming to indicate that delivery was near, I began to worry a bit that something might be wrong with this pregnancy.

Were it not for Ciente's serene attitude and her keeping up her daily routines with the other horses, I might have been deeply concerned that a problem had developed. Instead, we just kept up good expectations and waited and waited and waited. Our vigilance was two-fold: 1. we of course desire that we are available to assist the mares--only if necessary--when they foal (which doesn't always work out with semi-wild horses roaming an expansive natural setting) and 2. having been present when the very first foal (Animado) was born I wanted to know if Altamiro would once again help the mare with the foal and if the mare stayed with the herd or went off somewhere on her own to give birth as we are so commonly told happens in the wild. With the exception of Animado, I was always an hour or more late on the scene when the other foals have been born. I really wanted to be able to be with Ciente during this foaling. Would the fates allow for it this time?


March 17 / Ciente's udder dripping at time of evening feeding

March 18 / Ciente delivers a filly approximately 7:30am, and I am there to record it! Total gestation time, +/- 350 days


We had some more melting take place and the temperature was just a little above freezing when dawn came on Friday March 18th. Mistral's group came up as usual for breakfast, but not the family band. Through our binoculars we could see them at juncture between fields where the dying Maple trees are. I spotted Ciente and she was still "Fat Horse", but the band was acting edgy and definitely were not coming up for breakfast, so while Kevin took care of Mistral's group, I hauled out a load of hay to where the family band was. As I neared, I could see that Ciente had just delivered her foal! Hurriedly, I put in place all the piles of hay I'd brought out for the other members. Then I stopped to take a few photos. Altamiro was about thirty feet away from Ciente and watching keenly. Silvestre, Ciente's 2009 colt (who Ciente weaned off her milk in spring of 2010, but who was still tolerated in the family band for now) stood nearby.

I could see the foal was struggling to get up but was prevented by the amnion sac.

I was alarmed by this! Would the foal suffocate? As I hurried over and prepared myself to slide the amnion off from this foal, its struggling managed to tear the sac sufficiently that it's muzzle was now free, so I remained on the sidelines ready to leap into assistance if Ciente needed me to.



Twice Altamiro attempted to advance closer to the scene, but each time was driven away by Ciente so eventually he wandered off to eat hay with the rest of the family band and Silvestre was heading that way now too after receiving a rebuke from his mother. Whether Altamiro was intending to help or just satisfy his curiosity it seems that it was Ciente's choice to not have the stallion assisting.



At first, Ciente seemed as if she, too, was going to leave and go join the others to who were eating breakfast hay. I stopped her and gave her a cookie and told her she needed to tend to her baby. After one more long look at the rest of the family eating hay, Ciente got to work helping get the foal free from that slippery amnion sac.


The foal's attempts to get up had become severely hampered by the twisting of the amnion around its right front leg. Again, I wanted to intervene, but just as I began to reach out to slip that sac off, Ciente managed to get the foal to try one more time and the leg reached free of the sac.


Between Ciente's licking and tearing at the sac and the foal's struggles to sit up and stand up, after what seemed like an eternity, the foal was completely free of the amnion sac, but not in the clear of potentially harmful elements. Underneath all that snow was a huge pool of ice water and the tired newborn foal was physically exhausted and laying on a frigid surface.


I went over and took some hay from the family band's piles and put it under the foal. For its part, the foal took up a new struggle to get up and managed to quickly slide off from the hay, then fell back into the cold snow and ice water. Complicating this, Silvestre came around again, and again Ciente let him know she did not appreciate his presence just now. Thankfully Kevin came now on the scene with more hay and we were both able to lift the foal up on to a nice dry pile of it, away from the pool of ice water.


At this point, Ciente decided to stop helping her foal and began eating, so Kevin and I took over the job. We rubbed the foal with wads of hay and then some towels. During this time I was able to check for gender and found out Ciente and Altamiro had produced their first filly! Also during this time I got to witness this filly's very first bowel movement...which is just one of the many exciting things one looks for in a healthy newborn foal.

But this filly was weary and it had been some time since she had made any renewed efforts to get up, nor did Ciente make any further attempts to help her, and instead was focused on eating hay.


When the filly one more time fell back into that very cold, helpless completely prone posture, we decided we would try and help get the filly up on her legs. Even though we had gotten the filly up out of the ice water and snow and managed to get her relatively dry, there was a cold wind blowing over and we really feared that she might just give up and begin to suffer hypothermia from which she would not recover. We began rubbing her once more until she once again sat up and tried her legs. With Kevin lifting the hindquarters and me supporting the front, the filly managed to stand on her feet, leaning heavily into my arms for support and weaving, feeling like any moment she would tumble to the ground again. But after several minutes, Kevin could feel that her hind legs were steady and so he let go. She almost fell into my arms, but feeling my support she stayed up and then, I could feel that she "had it". There was a definite shift as she assumed control of her own weight (a truly amazing sensation for me to feel!) and as I slowly let go of her, this newborn filly not only stood on her own, but took her first few steps. Of course, she went down again, and we moved in to get her back up, but she did it this time all by herself. Such joy!!!



Immediately the filly began to make suckling gestures with her mouth, but since she wasn't next to Ciente she got nothing but air. We helped guide the filly to Ciente's side. Now that the filly was up, Ciente once again took up her motherly duties. She would occasionally touch the filly, sometimes shift her position, but otherwise just waited for the filly to figure out where that "on-tap foal elixir" was. It seemed to take forever and the filly was getting discouraged. I worried that she was going to give up and lay back down in that frigid ice water. There were so many near the mark attempts and many more outright misses. By now the chill had gotten to me and I was shivering and clattering my teeth. Kevin suggested we go to the house get me warmed up and come back out with more hay for Ciente. We could keep an eye on things from the house and if the filly went down, we could rush out and get her back up. I reluctantly (but wisely) agreed with Kevin's plan. Upon getting back to the house I noted that a little over three hours had passed since Ciente delivered her foal.

And of course when we went back out, the filly had indeed found where her dinner was waiting for her. Certainly Lao Tzu is right to have said "Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished."








As Kevin and I watched Ciente and the rest of the family band eat their early evening hay, we felt good that we were able to help this new filly make it through her first hurdles in her out-of-the-womb existence, but we also worried a little knowing she had a landscape of ice and snow to cope with and a freezing night to get through.


But the wind had died down and the baby looked robust and her and Ciente were following the movements of the rest of the herd. "Do you wish you had a barn to put them in tonight?" Kevin asked me. "Yes, and no," I replied. Yes, because it seems to me like a real hardship to be born at this time of the year, and no, because I know that Ciente's desire to stay with the herd is very strong and to remove her from it would pose difficulties for her and for Altamiro. Having felt for myself the depth of the winter coat this filly was born with and trusting in the good way the horses always take care of themselves during all kinds of weather, I believed we would see a lively, fluffy filly in the morning.

And we did.

"I then pass the whole day in the open air, and hold spiritual communion with the tendrils of the vine, which say good things to me and of which I could tell you wonders." --Goethe

This filly yesterday happily received her name. And what else could she be named except, Esperanda!


Esperando, in Portuguese means "waiting" and "expecting". It seems that from the moment of conception, it has been the destiny of this lovely feminine creature to keep an admiring public waiting. And already this little Sorraia sage has taught me a lesson in how to enjoy the beauty of whatever time it takes for things to take their natural course...

Esperanda is certainly worth the wait, I'm sure you agree!

"Because we are taught so may untruths about what we can know, about what Nature is and is not, the first step in gathering knowledge from the heart of the world is to go 'into' the world on your own, abandoning your preconceptions. No expert can tell you what is there. No book knows the living reality of it." --S. H. Buhner